gunny- no she did not leave for anything yet she is supposed to leave for bootcamp on june 12th.. and like before she would do that then do her senior year in highschool graduate.. then go to training which she doesnt know a date of other then next year after she graduates. she is kind of looking for a answer as what she can do because from everything i seen its like yes she can or maybe it depends. i dont know if age means anything either she is only 17. please respond back asap thanks gunny.

Did you talk her out of it and why?

like i said before part of the reason she was doing it was because of her mother.. well they had a big fight last week and she currently no longer lives with her mother so that is why she doesnt want to do it anymore. and is why she is tryin to find out fast how to get out considerin she would leave on the 12th for boot camp

She should go because quitting will become a life long habit if it becomes easier than finishing something.

So you think it is okay if she either goes or stays?

quote:

More than a few folks have turned to military service to get away from a bad situation at home, only to find they have jumped from the frying pan into the fire. If your girlfriend is convinced that she is joining for the right reasons, she should be ok. Joining up in the reserves will not provide the much relief on the home front, as she will still need to have a home to live in. The reserves generally only drill once a month for a weekend, and depending on where the reserve center is will only be housed during drill periods.

Active duty is full time and the govt will provide for living quarters. (bed and 3 squares a day)

You and your girlfriend need to do some more indepth research.

Joining the military just to get away from mom wasn't such a good idea.

If your girlfriend really doesn't want to be in the military now after she has gotten away from mom, then she should march her little behind down to the recruiters office and submit a letter in writting that she is reneging on her contract. They will accept it, they won't like it as I indicated in earlier posting. Submit the letter, obtain a signature on her copy acknowledging receipt. Better keep it for future evidence should they decide to proceed with whatever legal actions they may take. The latter is highly unlikely, but who knows?

Or she could try and make the best of it, after all, serving the country via the military is a good start to a young persons life experiences.

ok well this is the girlfriend haha...me being apart of the military service is not me---i only would want to do it if my heart was set for it--i'm a firm believer that u should do things full hearted not half assed--so ur saying that all i have to do is sumit a letter stating that i would like to be discharged? and can the reason be apathy or personal problems? because me moving out of my mothers home and not wanting to do it for me is prob. not a good enough excuse for me to get out?
Thanks for the advise guys, i really needed to know how to handle the situation.

the girlfriend

we found this.. http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/joiningup/a/dep_4.htm
(note: read near the bottem for the Reserve and National Guard section, and page 5 for rest)
I wrote a letter requestion discharge and gave it to my recruiter who had no idea what it was ( he said this is a first for him as he has only been doing it since january.) he called the commanding officer and came back and told me he said that it means nothing to him. I still had my recruiter send it to the commanding officer anyways and he said that he would get it saturday. He then told me that the commanding officer told him if I dont go they will put a warrent out for my arrest. Is any of this true.. according to that article i posted they are just tryin to scare me. I gave my recruiter that letter and i printed a 2nd copy out for my self and had my recruiter sign it stating that he has seen it. so should i just sit back and wait to see what happens and if i dont hear from them about it just not show up on monday to leave for bootcamp? thanks

the girlfriend

you really need to submit the letter with your reasoning for 1) signing up in the first place 2) explain your current situation 3) document your level of committment to the military (in this case zero)

Obtain signed receipt of the letter submission from the recruiter. Be aware that he is not going to be happy with you.

In order to succeed in the military, no matter what branch of service, there MUST be a desire within the individual to serve. If its not there, then that person is subjecting themselves and the service to nothing but problems, not to mention placing other military service men and women in danger or placing them in harms way.

We wish you well in your future endeavors. Try not to make a habit of not following up with things you have committed to. Once you start down that path, you will find that it becomes second nature and easier and easier to take that route. Its not a path that leads to success.

the girlfriend/enlistee:

I am a recruiter, and here is the REAL deal. The recruiter invested a lot of time and mind-numbing paperwork in getting you into the service. We work an average of 90+ hours per applicant, and it sucks when they commit to join, sign up, then chicken out for whatever reason they cough up. To us, as recruiters, we work 16 hours a day, 6 days a week, and put people in the service. You not shipping totally screwed us out of days upon days of work to find someone qualified to join, that would ship. Is it a crime to fail to report to training? YES. Are we seriously going to waste more time and money on you to file a warrant for your arrest? No. You can bet your bottom dollar, the recruiter is more pissed that his/her station commander is chewing him out hourly, as well as the First Sergeant, the Commander, and Battalion Operations, for letting you DEP loss.
THIS IS THE ACTUAL REASON YOU AREN'T BEING DEP DISCHARGED.
**They are holding you in the DEP, and trying to take you as a DEP loss on TUESDAY for Failure To Ship. That way, the DEP Loss is taken at the beginning of the new Recruiting Contract Month, and they have 4 weeks to cover for the lost contract. It also keeps them in a higher production margin for the last month, which keeps higher ups from chewing our butts off every day and making the lousy job of recruiting worse.**

ok i understand what to do now. i thank you so much for letting me know how to handle this situation. all my commitments are usually sought through but in this case, i didn't want to be a part of something that i knew my heart wasn't into. I understand a great deal that i have caused a great deal of trouble, alot of people are probably pissed and i don't blame them, i just don't think my joining in the forces was a smart decision. I submitted the letter in like i had already stated. And i will call the commanding officer again to restate that i would like to be discharged. Of course knowing that he will deny me and then not show up for basic training... i got it now : )

thank you very much for letting me know all the facts.

To the gunny: i know not to make a habit of this commiting to something and not doing it. I am usually one to finish things out. But this was not meant for me.

The girlfriend

Just basing my comments on what is presented. This is a serious life event we are speaking to. Hope it works out for you.

Do what you think is right for you.

wasting 90 hours of a recruiters time is better than getting someone injured or killed, if recruiters thought of it that way they might not get so pissed. Or washing out in basic for refusal to train or pass a PT test, that does not reflect well on a recruiter either in the case of national guard, some people are just untrainable (militarily speaking).

ok i have one last final question and then i'll stop bothering you haha. after i don't show for basic training what WILL happen. will they call me and be like ok u need to come in a sign some forms to get out or what?

thanks

I did the same thing you did except I did it in the split part of the split option. I went to basic but not OCS and it has been 5 months now and they have not sent the navy seals out to get me yet, I just got on with my life and maybe one of these days I will get a discharge letter in the mail.

I respect those who decide to join the military, and am proud to have done it myself. It is a valuable service to our country by those that volunteer.

But the fact remains that the military will always draw social outcasts and opportunists along with the spirited patriots.

There are people out there that would sell their soul to satan for a chance that some of you got.

Selling your soul is extreme, Most oprotunities in the military (aside from pure combat jobs) have a civilian counterpart (even if its a rough civilian counterpart) so this "chance" can be attained in the civilian world as well. In my opinion less things are left to chance in the civilian world. ie if you want to be a pilot in the civilian world you just go do it, go to the air port and sign up if you want to do it in the military get ready for some hoop jumpin and even after all the hoop jumpin is done you still might not get it and then you will be left to meet the needs of the military (kinda like the flight instructors telling you you cant learn to fly and now you have to go learn to be a cook).

It is very confusing to me that it is accepted by some to be told what what there carrer is going to be in the military but if the dean of a college told you what to major in you would think he is crazy. (Hmm.....Brainwashing).

Ah yes, the voice of experience graces us once more. Tell us, oh sage one, where does one get such experience in cranial-anal inversions?

update: well she was supposed to leave today at 6:30am but she didnt go.. got a voicemail on my cellphone at 7:00am asking where she was and that she should have been there and to call back within the hour. we didnt do anything and they never called back. but when we was upstairs in my house someone pulled in a large gray van. there was only one person in military uniform. they knocked on the door and then left. it wasnt her recruiter cus it wasnt his vehicle he has or didnt look like him. but is it normal for them to come here to maybe see whats up or something or try to get her to go? she is just scared and doesnt know what to think.

Now she has her mother and the Army to be afraid of. Sorry, but someone needs to grow up and the age thing doesn’t work with me. She cannot hide from the world forever.