Hey everyone,

I'm new to the forums, (I've posted my introduction in roll call already )

I just have a couple questions. My boyfriend (whom I've been only dating for about 4 months) is deploying for Iraq in just a few days. What types of things can I expect? I'v kind of seen a change in his personality. He seems very emotionless. He doesn't talk much about anything. He's been there once before. What's it like communication wise? We have a LDR to start with (we live states away) so I usually fly out to see him. We're used to being apart, but we talk everyday... I know when he goes over there, we won't. I guess I just don't want him to forget about me! What can I expect?

I feel your pain, 'eight.. My daughter's fiance is over in Afghanistan.. been there since last May and won't be back until next March...

Don't know what his ability to contact you is like, but, usually there is opportunity for e-mail/phone connections on a scheduled/regular basis.. If he's not in a forward operation base and has access to public lines, he can call/keep in touch.. You may want to see about loading him up with international pre-paid calling cards. worked for the daughter..

Since you've been in a relationship for a short time, things might get a bit strained/strange.. best you can be is supportive and try to understand the strain.. He's been there before, so he knows, at some level, what to expect.. but you may find it tough..

Make sure you avail yourself of the at-home support programmes/mechanism that are available.. and make sure you tie into the military support/family resources, etc.. this was of great help/comfort for my daughter

even though she's serving military, she found it of help..being with/talking to others in the same situation helps a lot..

Best you can do is make every effort to keep the channels open..if he's worth it and you see there's something important to you in this.. you got to work on it and encourage him to do the same.. ultimately, the guys want that ' home' connection, need it to keep them grounded and focused..

good luck..

Having been there already, the change you noticed is simply his way of getting his mind wrapped around a second deployment over there. This is normal for anyone going back over.

Mostly it will be with emails as most units have that capability now adays. Depending on where he's assigned, phone calls may be a weekly or monthly event. You may even get lucky and be able to utilize webcams.


Letters and goodie boxes are always welcome over there.

Just keep letting him know that you are committed to him and theres no way he will be forgetting you.

Thanks guys!

He's definitely worth it. I really feel as though we have one of those "connections"
(great.. I hope I'm not jinxing it! haha)

But the last time I went out to see him, I cried like you can't believe, and then when he told me just a few days ago on the web cam when he was leaving, I had to let him go for a few minutes to get my emotions out. I actually talked to his mom and she told me it's fine to get emotions out, but then I had to be strong and encourage him.

I make sure that I tell him things are going to be okay. I tell him about all the letters I plan on writing him (I've already written and given him an 8 page letter that I told him he can't open until he's on the airplane). I got the website of his favorite beef jerkey place so I can send him some while he's over there and I told him how I'm going to make him a "video letter".

But I know telling someone and showing someone are two completely different things. He said something funny to me the other day saying, "Please don't be offended if I don't take your word for it." I know why he said it... his last girlfriend he had (while he was on his first tour) didn't really keep communication open.. never wrote him and barely talked to him while he was over there. I just want him to see I'm not going to be like that.

I'll definitely be in touch with his family a lot and I plan on supporting him every step of the way. I really want him to see I'm in this for the long haul. I want this experience to be a strenghtening one... to show our relationship is strong... not a weakening one.