Dumb Quotes from the 2008 Presidential Candidates


Mike Huckabee:

I'm pretty sure there will be duck-hunting in heaven and I can't wait!"

"And the ultimate thing is, I may not be the expert that some people are on foreign policy, but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night."

"The point I'm trying to make is that, on the campaign trail, nobody’s going to be able, if they've been campaigning as hard as we have been, to keep up with every single thing, from what happened to Britney last night to who won 'Dancing with the Stars.'" --explaining why he was unfamiliar with the National Intelligence Estimate on Iran's nuclear capability

Mitt Romney:
"I saw my father march with Martin Luther King." (Romney's campaign later admitted that they didn't march on the same day, or in the same city)

"My sons are all adults and they've made decisions about their careers and they've chosen not to serve in the military and active duty and I respect their decision in that regard. One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I'd be a great president."

"PETA is not happy that my dog likes fresh air." --on strapping his dog to the top of the car

"I purchased a gun when I was a young man. I've been a hunter pretty much all my life." (Romney's campaign later said he'd been hunting twice, once when he was 15, and once in 2006 at a Republican fundraiser

"I'm not a big-game hunter. I've made that very clear. I've always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will."

Hillary Clinton:
"The question is, we face a lot of dangers in the world and, in the gentleman's words, we face a lot of evil men. And what in my background equips me to deal with evil and bad men?" --laughing off a question from a voter who asked Clinton what qualified her to deal with leaders from countries such as Iran and North Korea

"I just want to add, I did not say that it should be done, but I certainly recognize why Gov. Spitzer is trying to do it. And we have failed." --responding in a Democratic debate to New York Gov. Elliot Spitzer’s plan to give drivers’ licenses to illegal immigrants. Moments earlier, Clinton had said, "They are driving on our roads. The possibility of them having an accident that harms themselves or others is just a matter of the odds."

"Aww don't feel noways tired. I've come too faarrr from where I started frum." --adopting a Southern drawl while speaking at a church.

"We are going to take things away from you on behalf of the common good."

"God bless the America we are trying to create."

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."

Rudy Giuliani:
"I do know a lot about intensive questioning and intensive questioning techniques. … Now, intensive questioning works. If I didn't use intensive questioning, there would be a lot of mafia guys running around New York right now and crime would be a lot higher in New York than it is. Intensive question has to be used." --on why he supports waterboarding torture

"They talk about sleep deprivation. I mean, on that theory, I'm getting tortured running for President of the United States. That's plain silly." --joking about torture

"I'm rooting for the Red Sox. I'm an American League fan and I go with the American League team." --on the 2007 World Series, committing blasphemy for a so-called Yankee die-hard

"Hello, dear. I'm talking to the members of the N.R.A. right now. Would you like to say hello? I love you, and I'll give you a call as soon as I'm finished, O.K.? O.K., have a safe trip. Bye-bye. Talk to you later, dear. I love you." --answering a cell phone call from his wife during the middle of a speech to the NRA

"I'm probably one of the four or five best known Americans in the world." --while visiting Britain

"I was there working with them. I was exposed to exactly the same things they were exposed to. So in that sense, I'm one of them." --on being exposed to the same health risks as workers at ground zero after the 9/11 attacks

"We don't all agree on everything. I don't agree with myself on everything."

"Freedom is about authority. Freedom is about the willingness of every single human being to cede to lawful authority a great deal of discretion about what you do."

"Oh, you dirty boy! Donald, I thought you were a gentleman." --while dressed in drag, after having his "breasts" fondled by Donald Trump

John McCain:
"F**k you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room." --to Sen. John Cornyn (R-TX), during a testy exchange about immigration legislation

"There are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods today." --prior to visiting a Baghdad market while being flanked by 22 soldiers, 10 armored Humvees, and two Apache attack helicopters

"You know that old Beach Boys song, Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran."

"I had something picked out for you, too - a little IED (improvised explosive device) to put on your desk." --to Jon Stewart

Barack Obama:
"In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died -- an entire town destroyed." --on a Kansas tornado that killed 12 people

Fred Thompson:
"Can I have a round of applause?" --drawing a rustle of clapping and some laughter while speaking to a sparse crowd in Iowa

"I'm afraid that the Soviet Union and China are not ever going to do anything that's going to hurt them that badly but we need to ratchet those up if at all possible." --on how he would deal with Russia

"Gosh, no one has told me that there's any major reserves in the Everglades, but maybe that's one of the things I need to learn while I'm down here" --after being asked his position on oil drilling in the Florida Everglades

Dennis Kucinich:
It was an unidentified flying object, OK? It's, like, it's unidentified." --after being asked about an account in Shirley MacLain's book that said Kucinich once had a close encounter with a UFO while visiting her house in Washington state.

Joe Biden:
"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man." --on Barack Obama

"I got tested for AIDS. I know Barack got tested for AIDS. There's no shame in being tested for AIDS. It's an important thing."

"You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. ... I'm not joking."

Tommy Thompson:
"I'm in the private sector and for the first time in my life I'm earning money. You know that's sort of part of the Jewish tradition and I do not find anything wrong with that. I enjoy that." --speaking to the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism

"I was very sick the day of the debate. I had all of the problems with the flu and bronchitis that you have, including running to the bathroom. I was just hanging on. I could not wait until the debate got off so I could go to the bathroom." --on why he said at a GOP presidential debate that an employer should be allowed to fire gay workers, after previously having blamed a faulty hearing aid for his answer

Newt Gingrich:
"The American people believe English should be the official language of the government. ... We should replace bilingual education with immersion in English so people learn the common language of the country and they learn the language of prosperity, not the language of living in a ghetto." --speaking to the National Federation of Republican Women


"I'd forgotten how big a tourist attraction I am."


http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/election2008/a/dumbquotes_2.htm

Hey Weatherman1956

Thanks! Got some good ones there!

quote:

Originally posted by TYPHOON44:
Hey Weatherman1956

Thanks! Got some good ones there!

Ask not what your weatherman can do for you...

Ich bin ein Burlesquer