New Element Discovered

A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named "Governmentium". Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an Atomic Mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but, instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the Assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." When catalyzed with money Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

Gunny, I've been exposed to this 'new' element.
I've gleaned that the govermentium reaction time accellerates as free radicals are released into a narrow media pressure cells which energize oscillations of anti-governmentium currents resulting in event driven basic core value dumps. The occassional basic value core dump into an artificial positive media vacuum restricts power movements and valence bonding and is quickly filled by pseudo values derived from neo-boars...virtural xenophobes and radio quatrum ditto head transmissions.

No wonder I couldn't keep awake in chem class.

exposed hell...I work for it!

yo gunny man..
Nice joke u got there, "proud to be an infidel",
haaah, pretty good eh :-)

had that tag line for quite a while. Next time I renew the tags for my Dodge Magnum, the plate will read "INFIDEL"

when one minute is just too long..

enjoy:

http://www.angryalien.com

bring your own popcorn...

so whats wrong gentlemen? Coach? any..?

whats it woth being in the military without the spirits..

A young cowboy walks into a seedy cafe in Prescott, AZ. He

sits at the counter and notices an old cowboy with his arms folded

staring blankly at a full bowl of chili.

After fifteen minutes of just sitting there staring at it, the

young cowboy bravely asks the old cowpoke, "If you ain't gonna eat

that, mind if I do?"

The older cowboy slowly turns his head toward the young

wrangler and in his best cowboy manner says, "Nah, go ahead."

Eagerly, the young cowboy reaches over and slides the bowl

over to his place and starts spooning it in with delight. He gets

nearly down to the bottom and notices a dead mouse in the chili. The

sight was shocking and he immediately pukes up the chili into the bowl.

The old cowboy quietly says, "Yep, that's as far as I got, too."

Thats a good one Coach.

Wonder why ur the only one sayin those stuff. Anyway, I dont care cuz they sure rock man..

quote:

A Plane was flying through the jungle when suddenly the engine stalled. The pilot ejected and drifted gently down to land. Unfortunately he landed in a large cooking pot which was gently simmering over a low fire.
All the local tribesmen turned to look at him until the chief, blinking in disbelief asked, "What's this flier doing in my soup?"

AND:

quote:

Q: What soldiers smell of salt and pepper?
A: Seasoned troopers.

President Bush at a Press Conference:

Reporter: Sir, What do you think of Roe vs Wade?
Bush: Hell, son, I don't care what them folks use as long as they get out of New Orleans okay...

quote:

Roe vs Wade

LOL...should have had one of those spew alerts!!

quote:

Bush: Hell, son, I don't care what them folks use as long as they get out of New Orleans okay...

very good one rocket.

The blind Man

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR Stick, we'd be riding the bus ... so shut the hell up."

Grandpa

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, "I've lost my grandpa!"
The cop asked, "What's he like?"
The little boy replied, "Crown Royal whisky and women with big tits."