1. The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why
Jewish women like Chinese food so much. The study revealed
that this is due to the fact that Won Ton spelled backward
is Not Now.

2. There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when
life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not
considered viable until it graduates from medical school.

3. Q. Why don't Jewish mothers drink?
A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.

4. Q. Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess
horror movie?
A: It's called "Debbie Does Dishes."

5. Q. Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?
A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

6. Q. What's a Jewish American Princess's favorite
position?
A: Facing Bloomingdale's.

7. When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her
that her check came back. She replied, "Yes, well so did my
arthritis."

8. A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are
you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten
in 38 days?"
The mother answered, "Because I didn't want my mouth
to be filled with food if you should call."

9. A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his
mother he's been given a part in the school play.
"Wonderful. What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the
teacher you want a speaking part."

10. Q Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his
wife?
A: Under the vacuum cleaner.

11. Q. How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a
light bulb?
A: (Sigh) Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I
don't want to be a nuisance to anybody.

12. Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to
kill us, we won, let's eat.

13. Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish
mother on the street and said, "Lady I haven't eaten in
three days." "Force yourself," she replied.

12. Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a
Jewish mother?
A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

14. Jewish mother's telegram: "Begin worrying. Details to follow."

Number 12 is great. Those Israelis sure can fight!!