quote:

Originally posted by HarryP:
"rppearso cursed himself for his incessant and chronic masterbation: offered a chance to score with a real-live girl, he'd been far too elumbated to perform."

I knew that someone would translate.

HarryP got pulled over by a state trooper for speeding, and the trooper started to lecture HarryP about his speed, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make HarryP uncomfortable.

Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket, and as he was doing that he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. HarryP said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya?"

The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said "Well yeah, if that's what they are, I never heard of circle flies."

So HarryP says "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute he stops and says, "Hey...wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horses ass?"

HarryP says, "Oh no, officer. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horses ass."

The trooper says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, HarryP says, "Hard to fool them flies though."


Oh yeah, word of the day is: 'circle flies'

THE MOST FUNCTIONAL ENGLISH WORD

Well, it's shit ... that's right, shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

Consider:
You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for brains.

With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.

There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.

You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.

Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.

You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head...........
Well, Shit Happens!!!

bedung/bee DUNG/v. 1) To cover in shit. 2)To daub with shit.

Defenestrate: to throw out a window.

With only one more syllable you could just say “thrown out a window”.

GYNOTIKOLOBOMASSOPHILE - One who likes to nibble on a woman's earlobes.

Feague /FEEG/v. To insert an energizing suppository into the anus of a horse, in order to make it sprikghtly and to perk up its tail.

quote:

Originally posted by HarryP:
Feague /FEEG/v. To insert an energizing suppository into the anus of a horse, in order to make it sprightly and to perk up its tail.

favonian-- adjective

: of or relating to the west wind : mild

Example Sentence:
A favonian wind blew across the plains, a welcome sign of spring's imminent arrival.

feist/FEIST/n. A silent fart.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Ozoamblyrosis (OH-zoh-AM-bli-ROH-sis) - Loss of sexual apetite because your partner has wicked B.O.

And there's so many, many more here:
http://homepage.mac.com/alexharrell/words.html

fireship /FIRE ship/ n. A diseased prostitute.

franion /FRAN yun/ n. A man of loose behavior; a pleasure seeker.

tittery-whoppet/TIT er ee WOP it/n. An archaic euphemism for the vagina.