Got the sh!t kicked out of me today and need to vent and get some advice from calmer heads than mine.. You guys/girls know my son is a Reserve Officer of some standing and like any good soldier wants to serve where he can.. When chance to deploy to active duty came he volunteered.. first opp was for Afghanistan, then the military changed it to Somalia and finally the Sudan.

given Canada's military ststus these days, pretty much all overseas deployments involve a reserve component [ about 1/3 of the active force is reserve call ups ]..

so, when a Reservist volunteers he undergoes a whole slew of tests, briefings, interviews, psyche and med exams to make sure he's " up " for the task and, if married, the wife gets her own set of briefings, tests, consultations, etc. to make sure she knows what hubby's getting into and what she can expect while he's away for 6 -9 months of more..

Well, Daughter-in-Law sat through everything, had her reservations expressed was given all the facts and signed off as okay with it. son went off did his UN trainiong got his ass punctured by every needle known to man and swallowed pills wholesale and did the millions of push-ups required to pass all the drills.

I guess you know what's coming next...

with only 5 friggin' days left before he deploys, the Daughter-in-law handed him walking papers..filed first steps for divorce and demanded sole custody of the kids... of course " it's not because of his imminent deployment ".. etc .etc..[ that would be admitting that she falsified the agreements to let him go ]..
Since daughter-in-law had her mum to run to , son did the same..only BIG PROBLEM.. his mum is also the Brigade Chaplain..If any other soldier had this problem on his file pop up. she'd have to Red Flag it and pull his ticket to ride..
As its her son she can't act on the info.. she has to refer it to another Brigade or kick it upstairs to the Command Chaplain who will, as policy, Red Flag it anyway...

Crisis time.. Good Padre has got to act or face her own disciplinary action, but in doing so, Son gets yanked.. army will be pissed at trying to find a last minutre replacement, son has already signed off on his civvie job and can't get it back and the military has no obligation to give him another job that isn't a deployment..

Crap all round..anyone out there with the wisdom of Solomon?

Dunno man. Been married 20 years in just a few days. My wife has put up with all kinds of crap, we separated twice. People were always telling me put the family before the Corps, 'cause the Corps sure as hell won't. I was yanked off two deployments to "deal with the family". I guess he's gotta decide whether "she's the one" and gut it out and take care of the family first. Or go do his thing...
Being yanked off deployment did not kill my career, and I'm glad now that I still have her around.

Really? Because when I was in the Navy they wanted me gone as soon as possible when they found out my old lady ditched on me and left our daughter.
Of course, they wanted me to get a less than Honorable because I was getting out of deployment, but I got my hardship discharge anyway.
Long story....

It simply cannot be hidden because it will come out sooner or later. Go for the upfront truth.

WOW...thats some harsh dealings.
The same thing happened in my unit I was assinged to a couple of years ago right before we went overseas to a fellow shipmate, and the Coast Guard sent his ass anyways.
While over there... the guy acted like a whack job, coming into my sickbay everyday with some sort of complaint, the command still wouldnt budge on me trying to get him an humanitarian re assingment back CONUS.
I think the military at times wants to turn their heads to situations like this. I believe its all depending on the person its affecting ability to handle it....but in saying that I am not a big fan of letting things like this "go", but rather give the service member the option to make the descision to go or not.

You never know how deployments will affect a relationship.. son is back now [ see other thread for his ' adventures' ] and he and the daughter-in-law are officially separated and having no fun fighting over the 'spoils'..still he done his duty, ghot the gong for his jacket pocket, was promoted and -what the hell - life goes on..

no one listens when you complain anyway..