If the angry people wish to e-mail me over issues I have no control so be it. I have a delete key and will use it. If they persist the VA will take care of it, as my computer e-mail used is VA.
Why would they be angry with someone they have never met, nor visits their forum?

Sally, please tell me why these people would be angry with me? It does not make sense, when people attempt to do good for others they seem to be criticised for doing it. If people want help they need to seek what they need. If they do not like what they find, leave it alone and keep on seeking.
It appears my time is nearly gone. The new generation needs to move in and find the answers.

Dave; I have no idea why they are angery with you! It makes no sense to me either! All I can think of is that it was someone who would not follow the rules on military.com.. I get all the post from the site but delete them because of their "I want everything my way from the VA.. no man is going tell me what to do." I am on another site for male veterans with PTSD/MST. It has a few women on it. It is more supporative and caring like this forum. I am doing sort of ok. I wish that my family could all live together without going thru the court system! I am taking my meds and little steps. Sally

Thanks Sally. Taking one small step at a time works wonders. It is like a big jigsaw puzzle, just put the peices where they fit. Soon we have the picture.
GOD bless you.

Ah Geez, if these female vets are angry with Dave they probably despise me. Oh Well, if it makes any difference, I love our forumily here and that's a fact, Jack !!!!

I'll protect ya, Davey Doo !!!!!

Hugs and Grins,

MOM

Dave,
You are in good company in regards to folks being angry at you even though they don't know you. Jesus occuppied that position! Bobby Vinton used to sing a song (this applied to his girl friend lol but I think we can still apply it in an unromantic way to a guy friend also) "To know you is to love you".

preacher

Guys, I could use some help over on the milnet forum we're starting. Vets and folks who were afraid to post on our old PTSD forum are posting there because it's protected. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

Could use some help on the Chatting Thread.

Gotta Run...the house is a total wreck but the yard looks good, arggggghhhhh....

Hugs to my Favorite Folks,

MOM

Thanks, PREACHER.....

..... for reminding me about Jesus being persecuted. I guess we need to be persecuted too at times so we can ever increasingly realize just what he sacrificed for all of us.

I shoulda leaned on you when I was hounded by personal email for a month so viciously. It made my symptoms go totally crazy. It was a bad bad bad bad time for me.

Hugs and Thanks for your words of wisdom, Hon,

MOM

SALLY:

You stay strong and try to keep a balance on everything. I'm having a hard time doing that right now. We'll lean on each other and take it one day at a time, right !!!???!!!

Hugs,

MOM

In the few minutes since I posted that call for help on the new permission only PTSD Forum on USMILNET, YET ANOTHER YOUNG COMBAT VET BACK FROM IRAQ HAS JOINED.

HELP ..........

Email Bob and I at alphadog@yadtel.net with your member id over there and we will get you permission from admin to post to the PTSD forum.

WE WANTED TO HELP THESE YOUNG VETS AND THAT'S WHERE THEY ARE COMING TO NOW....

Personally, I'm gonna use this forum as a rest zone to snuggle into the forumily.

MOM

Mom,
Come away and rest awhile and lean on us. Absorb our energy and be refreshed. I don't think you really realize how much you impact the lives of those returning from Iraq and seeking comfort. Word is getting out about USMILNET. The site is definitely meeting the emotional needs of those returning. I referred one of my NG buddies to mil.com yesterday. He might be one of the new ones on USMILNET. I'll cut this short so that I can sign on at the other site. On behalf of all of them, I thankyou from the bottom of my heart for being there for them God bless.
preacher

Hiya gang. I did want to swing by and tell you guys thanks so much for what you do. It meant a lot to be able to sit down and talk to people when we came back from the sandbox. I know I speak for more than just myself, many other troopers from my unit, whether we say it or not, we do appreciate you, and all of your hard work. I know its difficult to listen, but I'm glad someone will. Thank You for fighting the toughest battles with us!

TO CAVSCOUT:

Well, I actually needed to hear that and really appreciate your kind words.

I think perhaps the increase in the Iraq/Afghanistan generation starting to open up on our PTSD forums means a lot of guys/gals have been home long enough now that they need to talk, have talked to their buds, and even want to help others who now deal with PTSD or are starting to realize they need help themselves.

As for those of us who try to help, we each and every one of us, received the EXACT SAME HELP ourselves and just want to pass it on. That only seems fair and just to me.

I love the concept of "pass it on" in regards to the blessings of caring folks that God puts in my shaky path in life when I need help the very most.

If each person who receives help when it's desparately needed, then reached out to pass that help to others who need it too, it would be a totally different world over time.

Just a MOM thought,

Lynne

TO DEPICTS:

These returning troops are really opening up about symptoms. Your gentle wisdom and encouragement and posts are truly needed there too.

I don't think you realize the blessing you are when you support others. Lord knows, I sure know what a blessing you are as do Bob, Cherry, Preacher, Dave, RV and Mikey.

Preacher is already over there and the results are simply astounding.

Come on, my personal heros, the rest of you need to be there too.

Seriously, DEPICTS, you are truly needed.

Again, in my post a few above this one, is the listing of the site and how to email Bob to get the special permission button pushed.

GOLDIE

I received and e-mail, here is my response and the the e-mail to me. Any help out there?
From: S. R. [mailto:deleted.com]
Sent: Thursday, March 30, 2006 10:20 PM
To: Barker, Dave (Chilli.OH)
Subject: Why things enrage me

Mr. Barker,

It was not my intention to attack you in my last email. However, there is a lot of things that do not make sense to me and there are some things that you have said or seemed to imply that minimize some of the issues that we women vets must face all the time.

I was 21 years old when I enlisted. I was young, I had graduated as a top ten honor vet, had applied to only one school and had been allowed admittance and I had some really good goals. Long before the movie "Silence of the Lambs" came out, I saw a documentary about the Behavior Science unit of the FBI and thought I would be perfect for it. I wanted to be a police officer when I was very young and with the education it seemed as if that would happen. The Army seemed like a good place to start. It is very much like the commercials you see today. I thought I would get some experience, a clearance, would meet some great people, which I did, and have money for college.

But, I got screwed over for the G.I. bill and college fund, I was sexually assaulted by a recruiter, and blamed, threatened, had my family threatened, shamed, and accused not only of lying but of trying to ruin the career of a "good man." I was told that they knew who I was and that if I said a word to anyone, my life would be a living hell. I have no proof of that, but I learned that many women have had similar experiences.

Now, I have read on some of your post that you don't really believe that to be true. Well, I did not grow up in the days of slavery and I was not around to witness the death camps in Nazi Germany, but I know they happened and are true. Human history has many terrible things that some find too horrible to believe, but that does not mean that they are any less true.

Also, some women who suffer PTSD as a result of MST or sexual harassment or harassment of any kind are labeled as having pre-existing conditions. Well, does that mean that the incident did not happen? That is like saying that a woman did not witness a crime taking place because she is a prostitute or like saying you are a car because you are in a garage.

I am a substance abuse counselor and I know that the VA and VSOs including AMVET has made life very hard for women and men who have PTSD as a result of MST. So, I suppose one of the questions I would like to ask is what purpose does any of the VSOs serve? What is the criteria needed for the rating specialist because I can't find that out at all.

I am sure you will be hearing from many other men and women on the issue of PTSD and MST in particular. I would not be surprised if you hear from a few congressmen as well.

May God or whatever force you believe in guide you and keep you safe. I will look forward to your reply when you are able.

Lady J


My answer:


Ms Reynolds:
Excuse me. I have represented hundreds of women veterans who have been raped, molested and simply discriminated against in the military. I give them good representation and have never, that is never had a complaint. I also have never posted any material as you indicated regarding I did not believe women have a difficult set of issues. My mother was a Superintendent of Records for the Kanawha County Regional Development Authority in the 1960’s throu 1988 when she died. She was in charge of dozens of men who earned more money than she did based on gender bias. I have always supported exact equality of people. Your comments to me are uncalled for.
Dave Barker

TO DAVE:

I'm really pressed for time here but let me ponder on this one and get back here. It'll probably be tomorrow.

I do know this though. I'm in the process of starting a women's only, permission only, protected PTSD Support Forum on milnet and it is definitely making me realize how prevalent the problem is...and....

....how very sensitive it is....

and....

....you and I both know from the past four years that these assault/rape female vets have an amazingly amount of anger and hatred towards men at times.

Methinks you already know all this thoroughly, are very sensitive to female vets and rape/assault traumas of the same, and this is probably, a case of...

....anger/rage directed at men in general symptoms that are flaring ...and...

...utter frustration with the Va reps she has experienced.

Heck, you know me. The VA and VA process itself is a major trigger for me. On that level, I can relate to her big time.

Too bad she doesn't know you as well as I know you.

If she did, she'd know you are one of the MEGA GOOD GUYS.

Hugs and Prayers to both you, Davey Doo, and suffering female vets, including this Lady J.

(Well, I guess I just let that one blast from my fingertips so I won't ponder and be back tomorrow, lolololol.

Hope I said something to help someone even a little bit.)

Hang in There, Davey Doo, Scooby Doo's Daddy,

MOM

Thanks Mom. Well needed words coming my way, well needed indeed!
Thing like her post are what causes men such as I, to withdraw from addressing gender specific issues, the fear of being labled and validation impaired.

I everyone just checking in. I have been busy giving help to women veterans with PTSD/MST and also male veterans with PTSD/MST. I know the founder of the two sites, Susan Smith. I emailed her personnal email and told her to tell the ladies to back off you Dave. She told them that it is time to change the topic. As for me I post on this forum and the other two. What is the other one that you need help on? I am taking little positive steps but I still have panic attacks in crowds and people yelling (kids upstairs in late 20-30 years old). I finally got the letter off to the court regarding Mary Ellen's guardianship. The warmer, nice weather is helping me to do stuff(spring cleaning, planting a garden in pots/containers and taking drives.) There are people who say negative things about me that are not true!! It makes me mad but then I consider the source and pray for them. Then I pray and put my trust in God , He can handle it. Oh, it is a real good thing to have a very understanding , supportive friends and family. Sally

Sally

Hang in there sister. You are making great progress and are realizing the strength that you have within you. The strength that God has given you. Remember His words: "Greater is He that is within you than he that is in the world." That verse has sustained me when I was feeling down and out.

I agree with you about the weather. It is something about this time of year that reminds me of the birth of life and of the resurrection! It is an enjoyable time to get outside and enjoy the feel of the sunshine on your cheek and to smell the sweet flowers in bloom.

My prayers continuosly for you and your family, especially as you are trying to get full custody of Mary Ellen. I hope that all is well. God bless.

preacher

About the nasty e-mail I received, I received another, same lady (and I mean lady she accepts her action was in error and has my respect), it was much more plesant this time!

Mr. Barker,
After re reading my email, I would have to agree with you. I hope that you believe that I am very sorry if I was disrespectful to you in any way. I must have been in a very angry and frustrated mood to write that....
SR

It is accepted

I wish to thank all of you brothers and sisters very much for the support I needed.